You have spent the last few months enjoying being at home with your newborn baby. Up with them all night answering to every sound they make and watching them grow. Now it is time to get back to work, this might sound like the worst thing in the world.
You can’t bare the thought of being separated from your little one. For some, it might be the idea of absolute bliss. Talking to people and it’s not just about kids and babies. Or you could be like me, stuck between choosing employment or self employment. If you are in that position, then read on…
Before I had my child, I was happily employed and when I had to leave I couldn’t wait to get back to it. When my child turned 1, which was the planned time to return, I found myself unable to go back.
Finding myself with a crippling anxiety to leave my child with anyone else was just too much to bare. Struggling to decide what to do, I had to sit back and look at my life now.
Doing this helped me to see what work I could do that fit around my child without needing to use childcare services. As you can probably tell I decided to use my talents and become self employed.
Coming from employment and having a years break, I had no idea how to get business. But what I learnt the most is that you have to shift your mindset completely to go from an employee to a business owner.
The mindset that you embrace is more important than your people skills, more important than your abilities, and more important than any other competency you may currently have or that you may develop in the future.
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So after I altered my mindset, I decided to find some guru’s to learn from as I had the right mindset to start my business, but running one was a whole different thing and I didn’t know where to start. I chose:
Tony Robbins for my mindset
Carrie Green’s book ‘She Means Business’
All of this learning was a long process and I quickly decided that my business plan should be a small business that will pay the bills. During those years, I learnt so much about business, myself and so much about other people. I never understood why I was so hesitant at starting a business.
Aren’t you lonely?
After a couple of years people started to ask me if I felt lonely and this would not be a one off question, it was becoming a constant question whenever I went out. So this is how I dealt with any times I would feel lonely.
- Take my toddler to playgroups and talk to the other mums/dads/grandparents
- Go for a walk around the park or go to feed the ducks whenever I need a break
- Talk to friends on social media when they are on a lunch break from work
To beat any feeling of loneliness, I would stop, take a break and go out with my toddler for a walk or play. When I was going out with my toddler that question of employment or self employment would still be ringing in my head. Though I knew I was making the right decision for me and my child.
The day had finally arrived, my child is in full time school. I wasn’t anxious, just happy I could now choose to go back to employment if I wanted. Throughout that day I made a SWOT analysis. Writing out what I had achieved and use them in a new role, wrote down my ideal job title and industry I want to work for.
I planned the next day to start my job search and reach out to prospective employers. Although when that day came, I did achieve what I planned to do but felt ill all day. I didn’t think it was my MS, but something was wrong and slowing me down and what I wanted to achieve that day.
Oh no, I have relapsed!
The next day when I woke, I realised straight away that I had relapsed. My head was spinning, everything I looked at was spinning. Thankfully it was the weekend and didn’t need to do the school run, but my daughter jumped on me to wish me a good morning and give a hug. I gave a hug and asked for a sick bucket.
Anyway over the next year I got better with medical help, had friends help to look after my daughter. Though this made me sit up and realise that having MS was another obstacle I am going to have to get past.
Time to reassess
I had spent the first full year of my daughter being in full time school being ill due to my MS. I had to reassess should I go back to employment or self employment. With employment I had to look at the fact that due to me being ill my daughter become clingy and anxious when I was away from her.
My health was declining as I had lost my balance and my vision was worse than ever. I had always been blind in one eye since I was a teenager but I now had blurry vision in the other eye.
Going down the self employment route, people didn’t care about me having a child and had the flexibility to be there for my child. Also people don’t care about me having MS and the fact that my health is declining, just as long as I could deliver a high standard of work in the time frame given.
The downside though of self employment is that you have to work very hard at getting paid work and so you have a very irregular pattern of income. Russells software Clickfunnels, helped me achieve a more streamline approach to getting clients. Josh Turner from LinkedSelling, gave me the tools I needed to approach business owners for work.
Sticking to the self employment route was the clear path for me to go down. Have you been down a similar path or want to share your experiences of choosing which career path to go down? Let me know in the comments below and don’t forget to download my eBook created for you to achieve a strong mindset wherever you are right now in your life.